Chuck Norris Facts

Ridiculous. But hilarious. I'm at this website http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com and these are my favorites.

1. Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
2. Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
3. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
5. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
6. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
7. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
8. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
9.Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
10.The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
11.Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
12.Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Wow, fuck. there are too many...

 

Fuck Chuck Norris.

Everything on that list can be done better and faster by Selma Hayek.



Selma Hayek >>>> Chuck Norris

 

No, Gisele.


Gisele Bundchen>>>> Salma Hayek

 

Wow, not even close. I'd take a pregnant Salma over Buttchin.

 

No contest.