North UK VF thread

Re: VF Competition?

My new mob: 07716039123

 

Rock on

Well, I've just triple checked the degree results for this year on my physics homepage and I'm proud to say I got a 1st in my Theoretical Physics Masters. I'm somewhat shell shocked atm, can't quite take it in.

After 4 long painful years I've finally got what I wanted.

Jesus, what a relief.

In other news I'm quite getting back into VF now, been hammering training to get my inputs down again.

I'm now off to P-A-R-T-Y hard. /versus/images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

Re: Rock on

Hey that's great man. Nice to hear your hard work paid off. Well done.

 

Re: Rock on

That kicks so much ass. Congratulations & good work.

+++!!!

 

Re: Rock on

Nice one man. Can you call yourself a Dr, yet?

 

Sigh

Thanks a lot guys...tho sods law being sods law something bad had to "balance" out this result.

Last night when speaking to my gfriend of 8 months Denise over the phone, she told me she was unsure of whether we should still be together. She's unsure in her head of whether things would work out between us whilst I'm 100% positive they will.

All I can do now is sit and wait until she comes to some form of conclusion as to what she wants. /versus/images/graemlins/tear.gif /versus/images/graemlins/frown.gif /versus/images/graemlins/tear.gif

 

Re: Sigh

Dude, screw your girlfriend (not literally) and get some practice in on VF. Think about all the time you waste doing non-VF related tasks. This is one of those things you can strike off of that list. Plus, if you start to miss the company of a woman, you can touch up your Aoi skills.
See the logic?

 

Re: Sigh

I personally would not put VF (or any game for that matter) in front of a lady friend, especially one I got on with.

I love VF, but there ARE limits. LOL. /versus/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

Re: Sigh

[ QUOTE ]
I personally would not put VF (or any game for that matter) in front of a lady friend, especially one I got on with.

[/ QUOTE ]

I second that emotion.

After another lengthy talk on the phone with her this morning, she told me she will think about everything and call me tonight or sometime tomorrow to tell me whether she still wants us to be together or whether she wants to call it a day.

Worse thing is, up until a few days ago I thought everything was back on track (after a period of a couple of months ago when we were arguing a lot). Since I've moved home and she moved back to her home in Moss side she's be unsure of whether she wants to continue with me and whether it's what she wants.

I'm not being dumped for another guy, which would be bad enough...tho on the other hand it feels worse as she'd be dumping me (after all we've been thru) as she wants to be by herself. In that case the past 8 months or so of my life seem to have gotten me absolutely nowhere at all.

Thing is, she's so good looking, when she decides she's ready for a relationship again she'll have no worries as everytime she goes out she has guys trying to ask her out non stop. Me on the other hand, well, if I wanted to be in another relationship, could take years for me to find someone (it took 21 years to find Denise in the first place!).

All she keeps saying to me is that she doesn't know how she feels about things anymore.

All I can do now is sit and wait for a phone call.

/versus/images/graemlins/tear.gif

 

Re: Sigh

"I'm not being dumped for another guy, which would be bad enough...tho on the other hand it feels worse as she'd be dumping me (after all we've been thru) as she wants to be by herself. In that case the past 8 months or so of my life seem to have gotten me absolutely nowhere at all. "

Sorry to come out of no where, but allow me to share my exp with women:

You shouldn't waste your time holding her arm if she wants to "be by herself"

This is a lame excuse for "I dont want to be with YOU anymore"

Please believe me when I say that. You say she's beautiful.... do you think she's actually gonna think about you when you two are apart? (This isn't a shot at your looks but rather a reality check that this girl is ready to move on)

"I'm not being dumped for another guy, which would be bad enough...tho on the other hand it feels worse as she'd be dumping me (after all we've been thru) as she wants to be by herself. In that case the past 8 months or so of my life seem to have gotten me absolutely nowhere at all. "

Again, this is confirmation that this girl has lost interest and is no longer interested in being romantically involved (or serious) with you. Don't wait around for her... as much as that hard to do (it is VERY difficult) remember that you're not her door mat. You should tell her "ok" and walk the other way.

No woman will tell her man that she's "not sure" if she's in love with him. She wants out and she just doesn't want to hurt you. It'll either end ugly or you could walk away now and save some face and dignity.

Again, sorry to intrude, but I've been in countless situations like this and I've come to understand my own mistakes with women and thought I should share with you. Good luck.

 

Re: Sigh

Thanks for the words.

I'm still not sure what to do with myself atm. When I was speaking to her last night everything was fine, we're supposed to be moving into a flat in late august together and she was supposed to be visiting me soon.

All of a sudden things went off track and she's talking about not knowing what she wants and not knowing how she feels about things. Kinda took me by suprise.

I don't want to rush her answer, I'm just building myself up for it.

[ QUOTE ]
You say she's beautiful.... do you think she's actually gonna think about you when you two are apart?

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I'd like to think she would. We've been thru so much and spoken about having kids together and living together, I honestly can't see her switching all those things off. She's never spoken about those things with her previous boyfriends as far as I'm aware (there have only been 3 but they're all low-life losers).

Up until 3 weeks ago everything seemed fine on the surface. In fact everything up until 2 days ago seemed fine, don't know why everything is going wrong all of a sudden.

 

Re: Sigh

"Well, I'd like to think she would. We've been thru so much and spoken about having kids together and living together, I honestly can't see her switching all those things off. She's never spoken about those things with her previous boyfriends as far as I'm aware (there have only been 3 but they're all low-life losers)."

Yeah, I know what you mean. There's one thing to remember when it comes to break ups and problems: they never happen overnight.

It's probably been on her mind and problems/thoughts have been building up until it was too much and she felt the need to say something. Be careful, ask yourself... "Do I really want to be with someone that is UNSURE?" Uncertainty is a HUGE red flag man. Don't wait on her.

 

Re: Sigh

[ QUOTE ]
LM_Akira said:

Last night when speaking to my gfriend of 8 months Denise over the phone, she told me she was unsure of whether we should still be together. She's unsure in her head of whether things would work out between us whilst I'm 100% positive they will.

All I can do now is sit and wait until she comes to some form of conclusion as to what she wants. /versus/images/graemlins/tear.gif /versus/images/graemlins/frown.gif /versus/images/graemlins/tear.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


Sounds very painful. I hope things clear up soon (either way). Waiting was never fun for me.

I agree with what Jerky has been saying.

I spent years chasing someone when I was in my early 20's. From that, I learned not to spend lots of time chasing someone. It caused much pain and it pissed off my friends. I hope you don't start down that road - it might work in your favor - but it's hard to predict.

 

Re: Sigh

Thanks for the comments guys.

atm it's almost unbearable but I'm basically sat waiting for the phone to ring. Could be tonight or could be tomorrow.

All I really want from her now is a straight answer.

EDIT

...

Welll, still waiting for the dreaded phone call. I hope some of the casual observers of the thread can appreciate the bitter bitter irony of my situation:

I've lived with Denise since last Sept, the reason we met is that she lived in the same accomodation as I moved into. We were friends for 3 weeks at first but both of us felt there was something more there. When planning our future together after christmas I was determined to start a PhD and she was simply determined to live with me in a flat of our own. After applications were done, I got back a PhD offer only if I got a 1st in my degree.

From then on (Easter time) I really got my head down to work. I needed to raise my average which had been borderline 2:1 to 1st for any hope of us doing what we wanted to do together. All that work and commitment really put a strain on our relationship, plus the fact she was unemployed for a few months and I had very little money.

After several stressful months of work, no money and arguments, it comes to the time where I move back to my family home and she does the same. Neither of us could afford to stay where we were. Within 3 weeks of that, I get my result...I got a 1st and hence had my place sorted but on the same day it came thru, Denise tells me she doesn't know what she thinks about things any more. I know there's a wry laugh to be had somewhere here but for the life of me I can't find it atm.


FURTHER EDIT

Well, that's it. Just rang her as I couldn't wait any longer and she officially finished with me. She said she did still have feelings for me and was sorry to do it to me but to her it just wasn't working out.

Sigh.

FINAL EDIT

Well, after one more phone call, we decided to remain in touch with each other. We get on so well and were friends for almost a month before dating, neither of us wanted to turn our backs to one another and never see one another again.

I can't really say I'm happy right now but I'm a lot happier knowing I'll see her again. Plus the fact that I don't need to lose any sleep over whether or not she'll phone or text me...we're keeping in touch as friends and she's not the least bit interested in going out with anyone atm, she wants to be by herself.

A big thank you to those who added comments about this very personal situation of mine.

Perhaps my next few posts will be more VF orientated.

 

Re: Sigh

Wow man, I feel for you. Very brave of you to open up and discuss this on here too. I've been there too in the past and it's very hard BUT on the positive you learn so much and you will come through a stronger and more confident person, I guarantee you.

A word of advice on the friends with ex's thing. Be very wary of entertaining this. Women tend to pull this because they feel guilty or want some free self-esteem prepping. If you still have strong feelings for her and she's playing the "just friends" ticket, in my experience this could screw with your head big style. Also, think how you'll feel when she starts seeing other guys or whatever.

In my opinion female freinds only really work if there's a low attraction between both parties. Otherwise, one wants more than the other and feelings get hurt.

It's times like this when you need to get together with your male friends and just chill and have a laugh. Save you affections and emotions for a girl who's more deserving and appreciative of them.

 

Re: Sigh

Hi, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

The thing that made it hardest for me is that Denise was the first proper gfriend I'd had in a long time. More so was the fact that she said it was nothing I'd done and there was no sudden "turning point" in our relationship...she just didn't know what she wanted (other than to be single) and thought that it wouldn't work out between us.

I might have been "happier" to know there was a distinct turning point or reason for things to end but maybe it's best the way it is, knowing there's nothing I can do to change things.

[ QUOTE ]
A word of advice on the friends with ex's thing. Be very wary of entertaining this. Women tend to pull this because they feel guilty or want some free self-esteem prepping. If you still have strong feelings for her and she's playing the "just friends" ticket, in my experience this could screw with your head big style. Also, think how you'll feel when she starts seeing other guys or whatever.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I am very wary of this myself atm. When I first met her she was actually already going out with another guy but that was right at the point she was going to end with him. I met the guy twice I think. She didn't finish with him to be with me, she'd known that the relationship was stale for a few months but was too insecure to leave him (he was a tramp basically, she could have done so much better) and she thought she could do no better than him.

In fact when she finished with him, all she could say about him was how she couldn't stand him and how he treated her like dirt. None of her friends liked him. On the contrary, her friends do actually like me and she even told me she's not got a bad word to say about me to them...neither of us is going to sit round in a pub slagging one another off to our mates as we've nothing bad to say. Of her ex's (only 3 of them, excluding me) she's never even wanted to stay in touch with them. They've split and she couldn't stand to be with them anymore. With me, we've split but she doesn't want me out of her life, and I don't want her out of mine.

So, long story short, I have seen her with another guy before, in fact I was happy to be just friends with her then (back then tho I didn't realise she'd actually finished with him about 6 days after we first met) but we do get on so well, I wouldn't be able to face not seeing her ever again right now. (quite comically, her boyfriend at that time was thinking of coming to play in the huge VF tourney I'd organised that all went wrong...think she finished with him about 2 days after that, UMSDversion2.0)

I do still have feelings for her and she still has feelings for me but we both agreed to remain friends for now. Maybe in a few months, after she's been single for a bit, there maybe another chance for us. The pressures which have resulted in our split didn't come directly from either of us, more they just manifested themselves out of the situation we were in (I had little money and was studying like mad for my finals, she'd been in and out of work, in and out of signing on and through small lapses of depression).

I do have quite a few female friends atm (friends I've lived with during Uni for example) tho I only really ever see them every now and again. That's how I think things with Denise will get like. The occasional phone call, text, drink, meal, trip to the cinema etc...

If that's how things turn out then I'm infinitely more happy than I would be without her in my life at all.

We've just been thru too much together and know each other too well to simply shut down everything and take separate roads in life.


Comical point, when I posted this on the tourney thread back in sept:

[ QUOTE ]
Well, just had 4 hours sleep after partying the night away and now I have uni stuff to sort out...so by the time the london guys meet me and Ade, I may be looking a little worse for wear LOL.

[/ QUOTE ]

that night out refers to a wed student night out when I was out with 2 girl mates and Denise and her then bfriend Lucan. That night the pair of them had a huge blazing argument and within 4 days or so she'd finished with him.

Ah memories.

Haha, posting on here is far better than speaking to a counsellor or any "group therapy".

 

Re: Sigh

Well good luck to you anyway, hope things work out. However, if she's serious about pulling the "just friends" bullshit on you I feel you're setting yourself up for a rollercoaster ride of pain if you accept it.

Also, you're saying stuff like how you might want to try again in a few months time......screw that......she's the one calling the shots here mate, amd if she's said what you've said she said I think it's time you said "fuck this" and move on to bigger and betther things. She is fucking with you emotionally and you shouldn't accept that.

Being "just friends" and hanging out with an attractive women is infringing into gay men territory, imo.

Either she's a good mate and you don't fancy her, or she's your girl and you're screwing her....I don't think a guy should walk the middle ground there.

 

Re: Sigh

The magic elixir for the girl you can't get out your head....

and trust me, you simply must get her out your head ASAP...

exists somewhere on the persons the 3 billion other beautiful women on this lovely planet of ours...

you said it yourself in your last post...

[ QUOTE ]
I do have quite a few female friends atm...The occasional phone call, text, drink, meal, trip to the cinema etc...

[/ QUOTE ]

just make one of them smile, etc... /versus/images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

Re: Sigh

Thanks for all the advice everyone's given here...

when I'm clear in the head as to what I'm going to do I'll let you guys know.

The way I see it, if I can make it thru the end of the week without textin or calling her, I'll have made progress. It's going to be hard but I'm determined to do it.

Thanks for all the comments though.

 

Re: Sigh

To side-step the whole woman issue, just gt backfrom London, and it was kick-ass.
Ade/Dan I'm going back again in a month so you might want to come down.

Ade, I met up with Mike after the session (at troc) so we went back to his place to play. He has improved much since last we played, and he managed to get the better of me. (Don't want to make feeble excuses, I'm not totally up to scratch with my stick as Mike noticed).

P.s. Anyone who has an RAP and a different stick, DON'T TAKE THE RAP DOWN TO LONDON!

It is too heavy, especially when people insist on taking you sight-seeing and you are carrying it around with you for three hours.


P,p,s, Chris, why do you even bother saying you will make meetings that require you to travel? You know you will just make up an excuse not to travel, so just don't bother even mentioning the fact that you 'might' be able to make a session where you are not the host......