Random VF stupidity...

Okay, time for a "that's just retarded" thread.
This might actually be hard to come up w/ material for, but I'll give it a shot. Oh, yeah - please no "you can't do that in real life" b/c you really can't do a lot of VF in real life, or "the command is hard" or any general whines. This needs to be a specific whine about something based on the "mechanics" of VF.

One thing I've noticed that just seems wrong:
Shun's is a punch, which means it's sabaki'ed, reversed, inashi'ed like a normal punch.

Why do I think this is stupid?
-(First and foremeost) Doesn't look like a punch at all (looks like a shoulder attack)
-Looks unnatural when sabaki'ed, etc., due to the motion.
-Lau's little flying punch thing is not sabaki'ed, inashed, etc. which looks like a punch.

 

Can't think of anything mechanics related but in general I think not including Taka in Evo was stupid.

 

I've never played VF3 so I have no idea and don't know anythign about Taka, but from what I've gathered so far, Taka was removed because he was to hard to program or his size was too straining on the PS2 cpu...is that even right? I think someone mentioned that in another thread.


Is that the only reason he was removed? Or was he a crappy character? The token sumo of the game?

Also, how can he be hard to program if TTT can have Ganryu? They're both about the same size, relatively, are they not?


I'm confuzzled...

 

I don't know if I can come up with stupidity but I'll give it a try.

1. Is it just me or are Durals breasts entirely too perky for someone who gave birth to Kage in 1970.
2. If Lion is French, why doesn't he surrender every match.
3. Jacky in no way shape or form is American. Before VF4, I had heard no American ever say "I done handcuffed lightning", go for something slightly more obvious like "I done smacked my B!$#% up!" Also what's up with the redneckedness of him ( I know it's not a word but it's getting my point across ain't it)? They should say: nationality: back watter trailer park somewhere in the south, story: after finding out that he was deeply in love with his sister (Sara), he proceeded to get very drunk in his trailer park paradise. After goin flat broke spending last dime on hooch, he remembers that J6 prolly has money and I know Jeet Kune Do.
4. The main gameplay complain I have is with Akira's +. Who thought it would be fun to make that non throw counterable on block, seriously. Why don't we make it full circular while we're at it.
5. I'm going to pretend I'm the average American gamer for a moment and say, why didn't they put in a naked outfit for the women of this game. It could be there high king outfits /versus/images/graemlins/wink.gif
6. Who thought the VF4 evo save system was better than the VF4 one, seriously.
7. If they added an American to the VF4 evo roster, why wasn't it a ghetto, slang speaking, crotch grabbing black person who could also have drink points, only whenever he drank he automatically got 40 drink points right away but it takes 180 frames cause he spends 2 seconds pouring out for all his homies.
8. I mention this only as a final thought and against my better judgement but VF/Tekken crossover?

 

Quote:3. Jacky in no way shape or form is American. Before VF4, I had heard no American ever say "I done handcuffed lightning"

Gee and I was under the impression that Mohammed Ali was a born and raised American.

 

Remember Fishie we saw awhile back that not many people are familiar with the great poet Muhammed Ali (Cassius Clay).

I done something new for this fight! I done rassled with a alligator! That's right, I have rassled with a alligator. I done tussled with a whale! I done handcuffed lightning, throwed thunder in jail! That's *bad*. Only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick. I'm so mean, I make medicine sick!
- Muhammed Ali (Cassius Clay)

Other Information that might help here:
Cassius Marcellus Clay was born on January 12,1942 in Lousiville, Kentucky.

 

Taka was huge compared to every other model in the game, nowhere near the comparison of Ganryu vs. the other normal sized characters. Kuma vs. the other normal sized characters would probably be more appropriate. I would guess that AM2 wasn't interested in having to balance a character that broke all the gravity and reaction rules in the game anymore.

[ QUOTE ]
7. If they added an American to the VF4 evo roster, why wasn't it a ghetto, slang speaking, crotch grabbing black person who could also have drink points, only whenever he drank he automatically got 40 drink points right away but it takes 180 frames cause he spends 2 seconds pouring out for all his homies.

[/ QUOTE ]

I couldn't tell if this was a slam on the Japanese tendency to stereotype, or a personal one. Care to clarify?

 

Attacks that are conceptually goofy and I'm very suspicious they're from any real art:

Akira's b,f+P+K (image him in the UFC just finishing that move, and everyone stands there watching him with one fist held high and the other held low... and everyone bursts into laughter)
Kage's df+K+G ("I know, I'll slink forward, turn around... crouch, then kick straight up with my heel as hard as I can!")

I know there are lots of unrealistic and implausible moves, but to me these blend "nobody would ever do that" with "nobody COULD ever do that and make it effective" with "why would such a goofy looking hit generate so much force?"

Nearly all the male voice acting is stupid. They need to hit puberty and stop being such cheezballs.

Who starts building this enormously expensive underwater room and then says "ok, you two go have an all out brawl in there when the construction workers punch out" ... wouldn't you worry they'd knock out some scaffolding at least?

Since VF is based on a low gravity earth-like planet, shouldn't the helicopters hovering in jacky's stage cause a lot of problems for the fighters with the wind from their rotors?

If jacky and brad both borrow from mohammed, does that mean the next korean fighters in VF will imitate myke tyson? "I want to eat your children!" "Is that all you got, you little bitch? YEAAAAHHH!"

 

ROFLOL..Oh Creed...

actually, akira's + kinda resembles a "mountain block" in taekwondo, and some strikes in Karate...though I would die of laughter if anybody actually used that in a real fight (of course, I would laugh even harder if someone got hit with that crap lol)
Who the hell in the right mind gets into any of these arenas...hell, how in the hell did people GET to these arenas in the first place?!?!!?!?
Move that looks dumb - Vanessa's big pounce from defensive stance....wtf is she doing, trying out for disney's world on ice?

 

I truly don't think size would of been an issue : If you can have two True Ogres spitting out fire on the same screen then I think two Takas would've been possible. Even if he wasn't popular in Japan I can't see how they would prefer get rid of him instead of Dural.

-Concerning the mechanics : Akira's back throw can get you in trouble sometimes.

-I agree some of Kage's moves do look goofy and needs to be reworked as well as the floating physics.

-The english dialogue is stupid...did these guys actually get paid ? /versus/images/graemlins/grin.gif

But the one thing that annoys me the most is Taka being out. True, he wasn't a fan favorite but it was nice playing with him. Far from being the token sumo dude, he added a different strategy and gameplay style to the game just like Shun does.

 

according to my friend who has been studying kungfu for many years... in chinese akira's b,f+pk is called "your mom's pussy"..
I kid you not.
really..

 

To put this to bed, I did a quick search of "Taka," sure that this issue would've been addressed earlier.

[ QUOTE ]
IGN: In VF3 you introduced two new characters, Aoi and Taka Arashi. Why is Taka not in Virtua Fighter 4? Also, Taka was huge, and as I understand it, you had to reduce the size of Taka to fit him into the screen adequately with the other characters in VF3.

Yu: As far as Taka's size is conerned, it was hard to process the skin. When he got punched, his skin would bounce back like rubber or fat. So when you think about it, there should be a difference between whether you hit him in an area with muscle or with fat. Because if you hit him in the muscle area it wouldn't bounce back as much as if you hit him in a fat area. The skin took up a heavy amount of processing. So, if we were going to bring back Taka Arashi, then we would have wanted to find a way to make his fat bounce more realistically, and in order to do that, we would have had to take more time than we were given. So Taka is taking a break this time. He's taking a pass.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm actually kind of perplexed by this answer, as I've never really noticed any skin in VF rippling. I think it's fair to say that Taka presented some technological problems that they didn't feel the need to spend time on considering his low level of popularity.

 

That must be one hell of a pussy. /versus/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

 

Jacky's ++ is in no way a JEET KUN DO move.

And how in gods name would any trained fighter take his ++, MY GOD!

I think VF might be popular if there was a stupid fatality mode that could be won or switched on. I.E.- Akira finishes with a SDE opponent crumbles, screen turns RED or BLACK and Akira puts his fist through his chest and then you get akira's win pose HHOOOOYYYAAAA!!! with his hand in the air and the opponent impaled. SWEEEEET! like Corn on the COBB. SEGA should wise up. =P

 

Here's that Akira Moutain Punch / / Your Mom's Pussy.

And look at all the people's eyes light up with amazement and envy, huhu. /versus/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

 

Very funny insight Creed.
I never really thought of the stages, and the underwater one would be the most suspicous. Here's a thought though - at least make a fucking door on the cages. /versus/images/graemlins/smile.gif

As for the voice acting, I heard a funny story about Jeff. A guy that works for a motion subcontracting company told me that he worked for another firm that did some other type of work in the past. One job was to help out w/ casting for one of the VF's voice acting or some shit. The guy they got for Jeff had a guarantee of 5,000 yen, and he wasn't even sure if he got it. As the white people (or black in this case) were suggesting lines to one of the nimrod Sega execs, he kept spoutting off his own cheesedick lines in English, totally overestimating his ability to speak a foreign langauge.

This is a classic story of getting foreigners for a job. I was offereed a kewl 10,000 to go voice act in a PS2 wrestling game. It was miles away though. I would've wound up getting about $75 to travel over an hour each way, and spend several hours with my voice that's really not fit to be a wrestler, and probably go down in history as "the cheesy part of a good wrestling game" much like VF voice-acting has.

 

Is his sabaki move (one hand up, one hand down - facing forward) called "Your Girlfriend's Anus"?

 

what i always wanted to know is

lei fei stage....

how they get up there?
climb? sarah climb in that skimpy outfit?
They jump off a helicopter?

How did the chinese monks build it? Their kung fu..really su geh!

 

I have a hard time believing him : for VF4 they probably didn't have time but they had all the time they needed for evo. I also have doubts about the whole fat bouncing, skin processing bs, what the hell is that all about !?? So what if it doesn't bounce, do it in the next game but don't just x him out ! Don't see none of the stuff he's talking about applied on Jeffs body and he's no small guy. Granted he's not as big as Taka but still.

 

I remember thinking "That's either a bad translation or a shading of the truth" when they talked about the rippling blubber. The only time the polygons or the textures over them seems to actually change (rather than move) is in the game intro where jeffry's arm and chest inflate like balloons as he poses. Taka's blubber doesn't shake independently of his body (as far as I can tell)... He also doesn't jiggle when you hit him or when he falls, he DOES bounce in a very heavy, exaggerated way... allowing for combos.

Honestly, there's NO WAY it was a processing power issue. The models in VF4 are great, and if they wanted taka in the game and for some reason his poly count was making the naomi2 board choke... then sega would find a workaround, reduce his polys, or find a very convincing way to fake it. They would not just throw their hands up in the air and say "nevermind then, no taka."

I'm still going with a "how can taka and TRing come together plausibly? They can't" theory.