VF EVILIUTIONJ FANFIX AND STROIES

L33T!

Jacky: lost his knee because Sega heard IMF couldn't figure out how to throw it, and also lost his elbow because of complaints that it was cheap. Now he fights with Savage Stump Technique in order to bring added depth and realism to AM2's interpretation of Bruce Lee's philosophy. New win quote: "Float like a fairy, sting like like pair of tongs!"

Sarah: Developed at least sixty new moves, some of which have official titles 134 characters long. Hopes to inspire topics like "how do you do Sarah's wall move" and replies like "Sarah's Backdoor Double D Ham Salad with Reacharound, also known as HaHoShoKahMeiLiXiaoYuChiuMaiCok, is performed by entering b+K during her DoggyStyle Double Date Epileptic Monkey Kick."

Akira has returned to his grandfather, and after studying frame stats with him for another 6 months, re-enters the tournament with a new commitment to zero recovery bullshit. Akira's grandfather is revealed to be a quiet but deadly tattoo artist whose dedication to his son's advancement is second only to that of akira's fan club: a trio of half chimp, half down's troll life partners in the southeastern tip of the usa.

Jeffry, having realized that over 2/3rds of his attacks are useless, has decided to simplify his life and his fighting art by scrapping half of what he's learned, half his brain, one of his balls, and four inches from his penis. He even shortened his name and now has moved on to full linguistic unintelligibility... dropping single syllable english in favor of "nitaku eight stance technique".

Wolf: Due to the events of september 11th, wolf has changed his inflammatory moves and their names to something a little less likely to raise the ire of the islamic community. Instead of "ThunderFirePowerBomb" he now does "HappyKittenPlayfulPounce". His new d/f, d/f+PKG low throw now has wolf pick his opponent up by the armpits, lay him gently facedown on the ground, and then pull bedcovers up as far as his neck, pausing to gently push aside a strand of hair on the back of his neck and plant a chaste kiss on his temple.

Kage: Having returned from his vacation from the Tekkenland resort, Kage now has a new array of 374 whirling, spinning, utterly useless moves. Formerly useful moves were removed and supplanted with forward flipping kicks, backflip kicks, ballerina kicks, lunging uppercuts, and one f+P+G followup that some BBSs are calling the "rolling reacharound". J6 removes Kage's left testicle, and adds it to the penis and right testicle they chopped off as his 'prize' for winning VF2 and 3 respectively.

Lau: Succumbing to the wishes of the VFDC community, lau has the following changes:
1. Still alive and in the game.
2. Numerous new moves, like the Cancer Cough and Viagra Dagga.
3. Recovery is increased on everything by fifteen frames.
4. New reversal works against H/M/L P or K strikes, knees, elbows, and escapes throws. 45% and kuzure down.

Shun: IS NOE THE MOST BADEST MOTEHRFUCKER EVER HE HAS LIEK THIS ROFL KICK WHERE HE LIES ON HE'S BUTT AND LIKE KICKS YOU AND LIKE THEN HE GETS ALL DRNUK AND LIKE FALLS DOWN AND SHIT AND ALSO HE CAN KICK UR AZZ WITH HIS BACK TURNED LIKE HE FARTS ON UR FACE OR SUMPIN LOL

Lion: Per chibita's request, now has throws in all eight directions, five of which inflict 90 points or more, as well as sixteen two-armed or two-legged knockdown attacks that are evenly divided between mid and low.
To ensure he's interesting and not too predictable, lion now has a PPelbowsweepdodgekneePpokecatch canned combo.

Aoi: being the favorite of bilingual IT specialists, got one new move, one new reversal, and had four throws removed. Does less damage but screams a lot more.

Taka: selectable with d,u,r,u,l .. that spells "durul" the name of the new endboss.

Pai: has been demoted from the world of film to the world of tampon commercials. Depressed, she loses her ability to speak on-camera and visits her sister ling for help. Ling teaches pai a variety of new techniques for looking like a retard, but cannot fix her speech impeediment. She now provides endless fascination for fans of voice acting, post-knockdown-leg-closure-animations, and consecutive losing streaks.

Lei: After realizing Lei fei's animations were about as natural as the mating dance of dying fruit bat with pipe cleaners stuck in its eyes, Sega concocts a story whereby he is dipped in a vat of industrial lubricant and then rinsed with mountain dew. Lei now spends his mornings drinking coffee, then at noon retires to his mountaintop temple to await a challenger. The new lei fei is said to be as fluid as Jacky Chan's english and as quick as Justin Timberlake's last climax.

Vanessa: Grew the amazing power to destroy the opponents with a burst of light and flame. Initially it was reported that she sported a mohawk and was blasting enemies with wind and lightning bolts, but astute japanese BBSes report AM2 as saying "having learned everything we could from tekken, we decided to add a little mortal kombat to VF by shortening vane's hair to a landing strip and giving her the ability to use the bazooka item". Usage statistics for vanessa are quite high at most test sites, with lion coming in a close second. One arcade has reported forcibly removing one screaming female gaijin from a machine after a 287 win streak. The girl's only comment was "KITTY NOOOOOOOO "

 

No news on Goh or Brad ?

 

... Durul, hehehe

funny, but too much testicle humor

 

i like all of sarahs new moves. especially the super side dildo smash........

 

Hehe... I like that bit about Aoi. I'm blushing a bit.

 

... :B

 

LOL
very funny /versus/images/icons/grin.gif

 

Not yet@!

 

Oh my god, that was a riot!! Encore!!

 

Creed, You are fuckin funny!!!!

 

Hmm, if Ice-9 hadn't posted his Tokyo impressions, thios would definatly be the best topic of the week /versus/images/icons/grin.gif